and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
