i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
