We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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