i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
