I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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