She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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