She's JV to your varsity
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize