fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
