You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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