my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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