The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
