ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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