Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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