ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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