I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
