she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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