i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
