So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
