What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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