***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
