I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
