TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
