He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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