i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
