You can't motorboat a personality
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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