I want to have your abortion
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
