We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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