wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize