i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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