Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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