so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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