this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My vagina is very pro this idea
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
