dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
