R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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