I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize