and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
