I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
