my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
