dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
