we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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