get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
