My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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