im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize