note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
