There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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