Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
