i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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