hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
