Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
