we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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