well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
