this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
