Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Will exercising make me less horny?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
