i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
