I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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