If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
