Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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