So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
tell me about the fingering
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