Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
