Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
