I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
