my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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